John R Wheedleton, Jr.'s Obituary
We lost 'our guy' John Roger Wheedleton Jr., who passed away peacefully on July 18, 2022 at Christiana Hospital in Delaware. He was our Sage, our Storyteller, and our Smile. His life story includes chapters that show a sly, quiet humor, committed military service, a long marriage to his best friend, and a defining commitment to family that leaves a legacy in the lives of his children and grandchildren.
'Johnny' was born on February 19, 1946 to J. Roger & Betty (Brinsfield) Wheedleton on the family farm in Cokesbury, Maryland. There were two houses on the farm, with the other where his grandfather and grandmother, John E. & Lillie (Chambers) Wheedleton lived, along with his Aunt Adeline Wheedleton. Born 3 years and a day after his sister Fay (Lord) Wheedleton, he spent most of his youth working between the farms, antagonizing his sister and tending to the dairy cows that were the main source of sustenance for the entire family.
He attended the Eldorado School and North Dorchester High School, where he developed lifelong passions for hunting, fishing, sports, animals, and cars. In high school, he excelled on the football field and caught the attention of Linda Marshall who was 3 years behind him in school. Upon graduation, John joined the Army and after completing basic training came back to the high school for a visit in full uniform. She swooned, they went on a date, his was her first letter from Vietnam, and they married in 1967 after he returned from the war. They would have celebrated their 55th year of marriage this October.
John and Linda started their family with the joyful arrival of Candace Mishawn (Allebach) in 1968. It was soon expanded with Christopher Marshall in 1970, and Chandra Marie (Xenides) in 1971. They added 4th child, Courtney Michelle (Carter) in 1979, followed by Charles Matthew in 1985. They raised their family on Home Place Farm, which has been in the family for 108 years and counting.
The eastern shore ran deep in John as he enjoyed all the hunting, fishing, crab-picking, horseback riding, and dabbling around the farm he could get - always with one or more of his kids in tow. His work life took him into the automotive industry (bringing him back to cars) and sold everything from cars to equipment to heavy duty truck combinations.
One of the most impactful aspects to John's life was his military service in Vietnam. He shared that his decision to enter the Army was both about not knowing what he wanted to do, AND having a deep commitment to serving his country. What happened to him during and on his return to the U.S. after Vietnam brought trauma that was beyond anything John expected or understood. Often a quiet and thoughtful man who rarely spoke about Vietnam for 30+ years after his service, he courageously stepped forward and asked for help from the VA. Diagnosed with PTSD at a time when we were as a society just starting to understand the impact, John spent the last years of his life getting support and services from the VA. This allowed his family to better know and support him. It also allowed him to embrace and be proud of the decisions he made in service to his country more fully. He received a Quilt of Valor in 2020 that brought more recognition to the value of what he did and acknowledgement of the treatment that many soldiers received when they returned from Vietnam.
One of the most challenging times in his life came in 2019 when he lost his oldest daughter Candi to cancer. She was beloved music teacher in the local schools for 27 years, and led the music at their church for even longer. A traumatic experience for the entire family, he quietly led his family through the challenges that came with that loss and celebrated her life as a beautiful legacy that is in all of us.
His legacy of family is a deep point of pride. He is survived by his children's families, which includes his 11 grandchildren. Candi's sons are Jacob and Jonathan. Chris's fiance' is Jodie Hardesty, and children are Sarah and Trevor. Chandra's children are Hunter and Harlie. Courtney's husband is Jimmy Carter and their children, Gabe and Emma. Matt's wife is Casey and their children are Lillie, JR, and Jace.
John leaves us wishing for a world that could be different in some ways. He wished for a slowdown, a return to visiting family, a good story and a laugh, a horseback ride on the farm, a day in a duck blind or the golf course, less politics, no arguments, and a whole lot of love. That is the legacy he leaves with us and those of us who knew him are challenged to live it. He hopes we ALL can.
John R. Wheedleton Jr. will be celebrated in a Memorial Service at Frampton Funeral Home in Federalsburg, Maryland at 1:00 PM on Friday, July 22. He will be then committed with military honors at the Eastern Shore Veterans Cemetery near Hurlock, Maryland at 2:00 PM that day. All are welcome to come join the family at Home Place Farm any time after 3:00 PM. The address is: 5946 Allen Road, Rhodesdale, MD 21659
In lieu of flowers or any other gifts, it was his wish that contributions be made to the scholarship program that the family established in honor if his daughter. The Heart for Music Foundation is a charitable foundation that gives an annual scholarship to a local student pursuing education or music as a profession. Cards and contributions can be sent to the Heart for Music Foundation at 5926 Allen Road, Rhodesdale, MD 21659.
What’s your fondest memory of John?
What’s a lesson you learned from John?
Share a story where John's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with John you’ll never forget.
How did John make you smile?
